What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
