If that was your dad, he is hot
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
