Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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