He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
sex in a hospital.. check
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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