i don't like sucking hair
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
