Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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