you guys were way drunker than both of me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
