Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
