part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
