You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
