I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
