People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
