what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
