Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
