oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
