wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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