i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize