My brain says no but my pants say off.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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