i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
