I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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