i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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