Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
