lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
