Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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