Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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