who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
