So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wish you could order shots online.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.