He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut