FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house