Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.

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  (416): If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay. http://tfl.nu/09z9
  Replies (10) Good night (2181) Bad night (1012)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?

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  (778): Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird? http://tfl.nu/7neo
  Replies (26) Good night (4157) Bad night (945)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  bring money and cleavage

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  (978): bring money and cleavage http://tfl.nu/w9ou
  Replies (20) Good night (6094) Bad night (930)
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  (212): View more from New York

  He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall

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  (212): He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall http://tfl.nu/usfu
  Replies (4) Good night (4075) Bad night (1427)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.

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  (609): At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared. http://tfl.nu/jdkh
  Replies (8) Good night (2937) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...

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  (313): Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts... http://tfl.nu/l45c
  Replies (6) Good night (2184) Bad night (1876)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult

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  (780): Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult http://tfl.nu/fk5u
  Replies (14) Good night (1062) Bad night (2397)
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  (310): View more from California

  When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.

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  (310): When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing. http://tfl.nu/i23j
  Replies (16) Good night (3085) Bad night (1073)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.

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  (502): I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can. http://tfl.nu/7z31
  Replies (4) Good night (1745) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.

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  (607): You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive. http://tfl.nu/27zg
  Replies (27) Good night (2850) Bad night (718)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?

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  (817): You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember? http://tfl.nu/aoja
  Replies (0) Good night (988) Bad night (475)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.

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  (812): I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together. http://tfl.nu/6uns
  Replies (3) Good night (1118) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Are you setting a date to bone me?

  (530): View more from California

  Are you accepting?

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  (916): Are you setting a date to bone me? (530): Are you accepting? http://tfl.nu/jd32
  Replies (5) Good night (1452) Bad night (396)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.

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  (815): Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again. http://tfl.nu/i74s
  Replies (3) Good night (245) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die

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  (269): It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die http://tfl.nu/03yf
  Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (299)

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