I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He better not be in your backpack
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.