Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??

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  (810): Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me?? http://tfl.nu/91ci
  Replies (2) Good night (988) Bad night (1401)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian

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  (773): Help. Asians are flirting in front of me<div>(773): They speak asian</div> http://tfl.nu/664g
  Replies (16) Good night (1616) Bad night (1939)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not

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  (937): Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not http://tfl.nu/mdp5
  Replies (27) Good night (611) Bad night (2587)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.

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  (325): Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood. http://tfl.nu/hew5
  Replies (11) Good night (4226) Bad night (773)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He passed out mid-signature

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  (816): He passed out mid-signature http://tfl.nu/lnp2
  Replies (4) Good night (3955) Bad night (1139)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him

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  (803): Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him http://tfl.nu/31nh
  Replies (23) Good night (4686) Bad night (1894)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  She fuckin peed on me

  (817): View more from Texas

  Stay golden ponyboy

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  (757): She fuckin peed on me (817): Stay golden ponyboy http://tfl.nu/vooq
  Replies (17) Good night (4750) Bad night (1066)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days

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  (781): My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days http://tfl.nu/zkdk
  Replies (13) Good night (568) Bad night (1221)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.

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  (901): Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing. http://tfl.nu/fm4c
  Replies (3) Good night (1080) Bad night (456)
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  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet

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  (44): All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet http://tfl.nu/lx51
  Replies (3) Good night (723) Bad night (1499)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.

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  (919): I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career. http://tfl.nu/kw3u
  Replies (14) Good night (1886) Bad night (433)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him

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  (732): You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him http://tfl.nu/pbux
  Replies (1) Good night (714) Bad night (278)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life

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  (618): If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life http://tfl.nu/dpod
  Replies (6) Good night (471) Bad night (666)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer

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  (860): Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer http://tfl.nu/4t5t
  Replies (2) Good night (221) Bad night (493)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??

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  (610): So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night?? http://tfl.nu/qtcd
  Replies (2) Good night (848) Bad night (284)

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