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• (415): View more from California

  I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.

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• (646): View more from New York

  My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...

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• (903): View more from Texas

  And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (850): View more from Florida

  dude i doubt hes gay

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww

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• (972): View more from Texas

  you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.

  (214): View more from Texas

  round 2?

  (972): View more from Texas

  EVER.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  He passed out mid-signature

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going

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• 

  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.

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