PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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