lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
