he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize