yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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