I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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