id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
