:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
There's always time for handjobs
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
be right there i have to get my cape
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
