just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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