I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
