her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
