Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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