when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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