I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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