I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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