Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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