Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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