THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
