okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
