the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
