Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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