So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
