just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
