just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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