a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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