Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
