thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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