Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize