Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
