Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
