he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
